Getting Told What's Up.

Oh, naive optimism.

"I got these seeds! I have this windowbox! If I put the seeds in the windowbox, I'll have herbs! That's how it worked with the seedlings on the counter in first grade, right? Fantastic."

I'm learning the hard way that it's not that simple. Why? Because I was just living my life, minding my own business, when I awoke to find THIS MASSACRE:

What is happening in this picture, you ask? See that dirt on the ground? See the craters in what was once fairly level soil? That would be a bird, or squirrel, or something (guesses welcome) disrespectfully rummaging through my window box and eating the seeds. Imagine my shock! (I suppose you don't have to, I'm having a wear-my-emotions-on-my-sleeve day.) (Those are rare for me, I know.)

So anyway, shocked. But what a teachable moment (for me, not the bird/squirrel. They've already proven pretty clever.) How to avoid this? How to remedy it? Should I put out birdseed for them to eat instead, or will that just make them even more likely to scatter my belongings/shatter my dreams?

One lesson I learned immediately is to include little markers when growing things from seed. I really thought I'd remember what I planted & where, but that obviously hasn't happened. I suppose we'll just see what (if anything) sprouts and guess from there. Noted. And hopefully they'll look as cool as these:

Here are some other ideas I've scavenged like an angry bird or squirrel:

To answer the question of "Should I put out birdseed?" it seems like a resounding, "No. Are you ridiculous."

It actually doesn't say that anywhere on that page, but it does hint at the fact that birds are attracted to birdseed. This was sadly pretty groundbreaking to me.

Another fun fact gleaned from this page: people apparently don't like pigeons. This is news to someone from the burbs. I thought they were kind of funny. Guess not.

And to answer the question of "How do I prevent this life-ruiner from striking again, given that I'm not into scarecrows?", we have some helpful hints here.

To summarize:

1. Instill Terror: apparently scarecrows really are a thing. I was only kidding. Not going to happen. Also saw a suggestion to hang metal things that make noise. This suggestion must be for people who are greater horror film enthusiasts than I. Pass.
2. Don't be a fool, wrap your garden: there's something called "bird netting". It's... what it sounds like. Stake the bed, put net on top, evade disaster.
3. Make a Giant Mess: water before planting instead of after. Makes the seeds muddier/harder to find. Sneaky. Genius. Sneaky genius.

So now we know. And will approach our next seed-sowing with some tools in our toolbox.